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Headlines Today is 19/04/2014
EXCLUSIVE: WHAT THE QUEEN TOLD JUSTRACING ABOUT CARLTON HOUSE - AND TRY TO MISS RACE 1 AT EAGLE FARM [ More Items ]  
Marburg stage their big annual Easter Sunday meeting on Sunday and with fine weather forecast a bumper crowd will be in attendance to witness the action like this - from a Marburg file photo. Justracing is a proud sponsor on the day and I'd expect that all the top brass from Racing Queensland, from Chairman Kevin Dixon down, will be there to help celebrate the day given "they" bob up at all other obscure places throughout the year, so Justracing will be on hand to photograph them all on the day mingling with the battlers of the harness industry. If you live interstate why not back the website tips Saturday and use the winnings to hire a helicopter to Marburg and I'll photograph you also as you land in the middle of the track (do watch out for the Clerk of the Course)?
17/04/14

It’s an undoubted statement of fact that we humanoids are, in the main, a bunch of dreamers. All you have to do to realise that is to take a cursory glance inside a newsagency the next time you are passing one and there they are – all the “dreamers” – lined up to put their entry in the upcoming Lotto draw. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t even waste my time or money by putting in an entry, as you’re 8,000,000/1 or some similar ridiculous odds to win Division One. Now if you can’t pick out and back a racehorse, pacer or greyhound that can win at even money - then how the hell in your lifetime would you possibly jag an 8,000,000/1 winner? It’s madness. Yes, I accept the odd one person from the two million people that put in a Lotto entry will get lucky, but there’s an easier way to make a quid and that’s by “talking to people in high places”.

As I say, I don’t dream about winning Lotto as that one is clearly a waste of time, but I did have a dream the other night and it was about the Queen of England – Lizzie. That alone shows us all how sad the ageing process is as there was a time – and it doesn’t seem all that long ago, when I’d dream about some glamour that had crossed my path earlier that day feeding me grapes in the Greek Isles. Nowadays Lizzie is top of the pops apparently. God knows where it will go from there. Anyway back to the score at the Test and I was able to get an “exclusive” with the Queen of England for the website before, not after, her horse Carlton House races Easter Saturday at Randwick and here’s how the conversation went:

Queen: Hello, please identify yourself you peasant.

Justracing: Hello your majesty, it’s peasant Phil Purser from the Justracing website in Orstralia, have you got a moment?

Queen: As long as it’s only a moment, as I have my poor earbashed and downtrodden husband Philip – oh, come to think of it he has the same name as you – hovering about me like he was on our honeymoon. God knows what he wants at his age and stage, but one can only hope I guess. All he seems to do these days is drive around one of our numerous estates in his silly Range Rover that was funded by taxpayers. God knows what’s likely to come out if he does a media interview as he’s come out with some classics over the years at the most inopportune time. Anyway what was it you wanted?

Justracing: Well I just wanted to chew the fat with you on a few issues. Is that okay?

Queen: Yes, as long as you’re quick.

Justracing: England sent boatloads of convicts out to settle in Orstralia with your man Cookie about 1770 and they started breeding like rabbits on the way over here as history proved. Are you happy as to where Orstralia is at now – given its humble beginnings?

Queen: Yes, you’ve come a long way, as you showed us when you whooped our (expletive) in the cricket over there recently. What an embarrassment that was for us. Thank God we’ve exported a few racehorses over there that have performed since and beaten your donkeys, or we’d have looked like a total bunch of tossers and losers. Plus your prizemoney over there is pretty good provided you don’t race in that pretty place with beautiful beaches that they named after me - Queensland.

Justracing: So you sent your horse Carlton House over for Gai Waterhouse to train. How did you pick her out?

Queen: Well Phil and I were at Royal Ascot a few years ago and a taxi driver bloke from Orstralia named Joe Jamthat, or something similar, brought some broken down crock thing over here and he won a Group 1 race here. I met Gai Waterhouse then. Geez, can’t she talk?

Justracing: Sorry I couldn’t comment on that, as I’ve never met her – and I reckon it would be even money that we wouldn’t get on anyway. What did you like about her?

Queen: Oh, she’s so positive about everything. She’d reckon Radish could win the Melbourne Cup if she trained him. In short she reckons all her horses can win, even if they can’t, so naturally she’ll think Carlton House can win on Saturday. I mean all the trainers are the same, most talk their horses up. Pick up the paper any day and you’ll see them one after the other extolling the virtues of their horse, yet when it subsequently goes missing in action in the race, there’s not a murmur. How can they be such bad judges?

Justracing: Do you think though trainers that talk their horses up are bad for the industry, as it merely leads to battlers backing the horses that these trainers talk up then the poor little Aussie battler does his dough when the horse goes like a crippled soldier crab?

Queen: Is a soldier crab related to a mud crab, I had some mud crabs when I was last in Orstralia?

Justracing: Yes – same family – same as your father was King of England.

Queen: Well I’d best be going now. Phil’s still circling. If some smartarse servant puts the Jaws music on while he’s circling, I’ll get all twitchy, but the last one that did that got deported to Orstralia.

Justracing: So what can I tell my readers about Carlton House?

Queen: Tell ‘em nothing – take ‘em nowhere. I pay the bills and you might have read recently where I’m a bit strapped for cash? I really need Carlton House to win to get me some cash, the same as Nathan Tinkler needed Hooked to win the Derby last week, but he had to be content with third. Hopefully I can go two better than Nate as we’ve both hit hard times recently and I don’t want to pawn the crown jewels to keep things afloat. Anyway let me say that you sound like a nice young man, so ring me anytime on any subject. The only things I won’t talk about are Charles jumping the fence to be with Camilla that time. What was he thinking the lad and that naughty grandson of mine having midnight naked romps that have been reported in some paper. You know when you come to think of it, hasn’t my family been embroiled in some controversy over the last century or six?

Justracing: You’re not kidding. Sometimes I reckon it’s amazing that Orstralia hasn’t voted to become a republic - but I guess that’s a story for another day.

Racing Queensland Cadet Handicapper Sam Watson has kindly sent the scaled weights through for Eagle Farm on Saturday and they read: Race 1 + 6kgs, Race 3 + 0.50kg, Race 7 - 1.5kgs and Race 8 +1 kg. So as you can see by that Sam, in my words not his, is telling the whole world that Race 1 at Eagle Farm on Saturday is an absolute shocker and if you stand down near the fence for the race you should hear the whole field exclaiming “e-orr, e-orr” as they make their way up the home straight. The stewards report on the event will probably advise that “multiple runners were found to be making abnormal respiratory noises (that’s a nice way of reporting the e-rr, e-orr bit) after the race”. On the positive side though Sam is telling us that Race 7 is a strong race. And to save answering emails Sam Watson is no relation to Bubba Watson who won the US Masters earlier this week.

The apprentice jockey weights for Eagle Farm should be:

JOCKEY

WEIGHT

Travis Wolfgram

54 claims 3kgs

Aidan Holt

54 claims 2kgs

Ruby Ride

49 claims 3kgs

Priscilla Schmidt

51 claims 2kgs

Kirk Matheson

52 claims 1.5kgs

Anthony Allen

50 claims 1.5kgs

On the www.brisbaneracing.com.au website I preview Eagle Farm Race 6. On www.sydneyracing.com.au I preview Randwick Race 1, the Fernhill Stakes, whilst on www.melbourneracing.com.au Matt Nicholls looks at the Queen Elizabeth Stakes.

 

Neil Davis from leading New Zealand racing website www.formpro.co.nz has kindly sent his thoughts through on Kiwi runners that are appearing Saturday at Randwick and they read:

The Kiwis have been getting their fair share of the stakes recently. We have some good in-form horses appearing on Saturday at Randwick, but only one looks a realistic chance of winning.

Race 2 Beauty's Beast

He's been winning well on better tracks over here but on a heavy track both his action and his breeding suggest that he’s a place chance at best.

Race 4 Horse 11.Bounding

She has been winning just about everything that has been asked of her this campaign on Dead or better tracks. If it were a Dead a better track, I'd say empty your pockets on her, but with a slow or worse track, maybe just that spare note in the top pocket, or wherever your cunning kick is.

Race 5

4.Viadana has been dominant lately over here. A slow track is ok, but on a heavy track, I can't see her beating Red Tracer and Catkins home.

8.Recite is coming over at exactly the right time in her preparation. She ran what I thought was her career best effort last start and she looked a picture of health, but was just a bit fresh. Once again, it’s hard to see her beating your top two mares on a slow to heavy track though.

Race 6

3.Rising Romance ran home strongly in her debut in Australia and has improved a great deal with it according to her trainer. It’s hard to see her turning the tables on Lucia Valentina though.

7.Miss Selby ran a good second in our Oaks at Trentham, but felt the firm track. Hard to see her beating Lucia Valentina on a slow to heavy track but she’s a place chance.

Race 7

3.Who Shot Thebarman won his Maiden this time last year and has won five races since. He is bred to be a tough stayer and proved that winning the Auckland Cup, although it wasn't a strong field. He is trained by a master at conditioning horses, so the 45-day break is not a concern. A solid eachway chance and a wet track won't hurt his chances.

May I take this opportunity to wish all website visitors – as well as those poor lost souls that don’t log on to read the four websites Monday to Friday inclusive  – a safe and happy Easter. The next story will go up here on Monday.

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