24/07/15

Technically speaking, the Bletchingly Stakes at Caulfield is supposed to be the highlight of thoroughbred racing around Australia tomorrow. All I can say is “God save the Governor General, because nothing will save thoroughbred racing turnover in Australia if that crappy field assembled for the Group 3 race at Caulfield worth $150,000 is as good as we can do.”

What an awful and primarily “pathetic bunch” of 11 horses have accepted to do battle for that good prizemoney. If you think that’s a bit harsh, then check out my overview of each of the 11 acceptors and tell me where I’m going wrong.

Smokin Joey’ will lead the field out onto the track, so you immediately know the race has a problem – as whilst he’s a Group 1 winner of one of his 53 starts and he won a woeful Listed race at Ipswich of all places, last start – if you can catch him you’re a furlong ahead of me.

Number 2 is Lord of the Sky. What a little beauty this cat is? He went like a busted you know what last start. Totally pathetic he was. Plus he hasn’t won for over 12 months – so he’s “a long term loser”.

Number 3 is Decircles. Isn’t he a ripper – not. He’s won just one race in the last 19 months and that win was up a straight track at Flemington, so this donkey hasn’t won a race around a bend for over 18 months. I’m thinking “meow”.

Number 4 is Rich Jack and Jack has won five races from 13 starts so on face value I’m thinking Jack’s a ripper. The problem is when you delve deeper into his form, Jack’s no ripper at all as he has never won a race in his life worth more than $40,000 in total prizemoney. So by the law of logic, if he can win a Group 3 Caufield race tomorrow against all-comers at weight-for-age they ought to close Caulfield down.

Number 5 is Inspector. He’s won three races in the last 14 months so that’s okay, but again when I delve deeper into his form I note that he’s never won a race worth more than $50,000 in total prizemoney in his life. That’s a worry when he got to carry the same weight as proven Group 1 winner Smokin’ Joey.

Number 6 is Wales. He’s had a change of trainer and hasn’t started for 30 weeks, nor has he won for 16 months, so do you want to get involved in him first-up at 1400 metres with 58.5kgs when he hasn’t won with more than 57kgs to this point in life?

Lucky number 7 is Petrology. He’s first up for 20 weeks. To my eye he looks okay one day and goes like a donkey the next. Which one is turning up to play tomorrow? I can’t read my wife’s mind – let alone a grain engorged enigmatic racehorse.

Number 8 is Platinum Rocker. She’s a little beauty. She hasn’t won for 20 months, so why isn’t she either 1) barefoot and pregnant or 2) in China?

Number 9 is Nadeem Lass. This little treasure has won just one race in the last 25 months and that solitary win was in a photo by half a head – so she probably didn’t mean to win that day anyway. What’s wrong with motherhood? Maybe the owners of Nadeem Lass and Platinum Rocker could get a bulk deal on a stallion service fee if they joined forces? Where’s that slowcoach Radish stand these days?

Number 10 is Angels Beach. She’s won just one race in the last 15 months and that was at Cranbourne. Wow – now judging by her last start second, she’s a WFA star. Good grief.

And last but by no means least, is this little charmer – Written Dash. She’s an exciting WFA prospect – not. She’s won three races in her-career-to-date. She’s won a $15,000 total prizemoney Maiden at Horsham, a $35,000 total prizemoney mid-week race at Sandown and a Moonee Valley Group 3 race at 100/1. Now I’m thinking three-way stallion deal to Radish.

As you can see it’s an exciting race. I recommend punters take an angina pill 30 minutes before sitting down to watch the excitement unfold before your eyes.

Racing Queensland Chief Handicapper, Lester Grimmett, has advised the website that the scaled weights for Caloundra tomorrow are: Race 1 + 3kgs, Race 4 + 3kgs, Race 5 – 0.50kg, Race 6 + 1kg and Race 7 – 1kg.

The apprentice jockey weights for Caloundra tomorrow should be:

JOCKEY

WEIGHT

Ruby Ride

50 claims 3kgs

Luke Dittman

55 claims 3kgs

Geoffrey Goold

54 claims 2kgs

Alannah Fancourt

53.5 claims 3kgs

Jake Pracey-Holmes

50 claims 3kgs

Beau Appo

49 claims 3kgs

James Orman

53 claims 2kgs

Bridget Grylls

49 claims 1.5kgs

Brooke Stower

51 claims 3kgs

Sam Payne

53.5 claims 2kgs

Luke Londregan

55 claims 3kgs

 

Today on www.brisbaneracing.com.au I look at Race 2 at Caloundra. On www.sydneyracing.com.au there’s an interesting new innovation of integrity staff being in attendance on race days in HRNSW, as well as the story of the replacements on the Racing Australia Board to replace the former Racing Queensland boss Kevin Dixon, who was given the flick by the Premier, have been named today, whilst on www.melbourneracing.com.au Lynlea Small has a big third and final montage of photos up from last Sunday’s big Casterton meeting.

Just a reminder that the Postman is taking a break to head to the spelling paddock and fatten up a bit before he returns the day before P. B. Lawrence day on Saturday 15 August.